What is it with Michigan??

First there was the dismembered body of a Michigan wife and mother; now this.

Maybe she burned the roast

I'm completely fascinated by the disturbing dismemberment story (as if there is a cheerful dismemberment story); now the husband has confessed to killing and dismembering his young wife. The article ends with a mention of the couple's two young children, 6 & 4, and the husband's statment that he "looks forward to seeing them again as soon as possible." Most likely through a thick glass partition, is my bet.

From all accounts I've read, things seemed this side of "normal" for the couple and their family; neighbors mentioned barbeques and watching them teach the kids to ride bikes. Either this guy completely fooled everyone, or somewhere along the way, he completely snapped. I'm far more interested in WHY this happened than how he actually did it -I can watch endless episodes of CSI on Spike tv to find out how he did it.

On the complete other end of the marital dischord spectrum, my husband and I caught the last half of Shalom in the Home last night while biding our time before Battlestar Galactica last night. The couple just needed a little boost; the husband was repeating a pattern of behavior and making himself (and everyone around him) miserable. The highlight for me was seeing Rabbi Shmuley running around with balloons on his head, helping the wife and kids plan a "Welcome Home" party for the husband. Can't picture a Catholic priest doing the same, but you never know. I'm just glad they worked it out in the end; sleeping on the couch is temporary...but dismemberment lasts a lifetime.

Must be an impressive pair

Oh, to have this much influence just by showing my ta-tas...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who spent 10 days in a self-made box atop a 72-foot-tall pole to protest a looming jail term was lured off his perch by his wife -- who sent up a topless picture of herself in his lunch box.

Fred Gregor, 45, was bidding to have his 15-month conviction for fraud overturned by squatting in his tiny cubicle atop a converted television mast. He told Reuters in a telephone interview last week that he wanted a new trial.

His wife Susanne, 25, backed his protest until the former stripper and mother of their five children decided she had had enough.

Brownie Thursday

Overheard at my 2nd grade Brownie troop meeting while we worked toward our Caring and Sharing badge:

"I hate the Germans! They killed my grandpa in the war!"

Sleepless Houses Across America...

We had a relatively easy night last night, with the 7 year old only getting up twice. She usually slinks into the guest room, but since my husband was sleeping there last night (banished because of snoring), she lucked into a spot next to me in the Sacred Parental Bed. The 3 month old was sleeping peacefully in the bassinet, which is a relatively new phenomenon that I hope continues.

According to the New York Times, we have it pretty easy every night. In homes all across America, and dare I say the world, parents are up at various hours dealing with "migratory children." Especially between 1-3 am. Expensive princess beds are abandoned in favor of the parents' bed; or, even better, Mom ends up in the princess bed while Dad sleeps with small flailing children.

On one level, it's reassuring that our children are not the only ones up at all hours, unable or unwilling to sleep alone. But on a deeper level, the article brings up the idea that it's our lack of strict boundaries that may be causing the problem. Are we the problem? Are we the same parents who know that our parents probably had the right idea, but we somehow feel guilty for applying the same rules to our own children?

I have fond memories of crawling into my parents bed once in a blue moon during a thunderstorm. Sleeping on Dad's arm, (or better yet, sandwiched in between Mom and Dad) was a luxury I instictively knew not to ask for too often. Why is it so hard for my generation of parents to say "Sleep in your own bed!"? Because sleep is like crack. You get a few hours, and you just want more. We will do anything to get a little sleep, including let a few rules slide here and there.

As of toay, the new rule is that the 7 year old can sleep on the floor, on the couch, in the guest room - anywhere but in our bed. We just got the 3 month old out of it, and if my husband can stop snoring, we will once again share the Sacred Parental Bed. Not much happens but sleep, but for now, I'll take it like the sleep whore that I am.

Oscar Oscar

They were way too long, and a little pretentious, but damn it, I love me some Oscar.

I thought Ellen was great, and it was a kinder, gentler awards.

Loved the dance troupe; very quick, clever, and to the point. I kept yelling things to my husband, who was in the bedroom: "Cool! They're making a shoe!"

Very very happy for Best Short "West Bank Story" - my college roommate's husband was one of the leads, so I was happy on his behalf.

Favorite bit - Jack Black, Will Ferrell, and John C. Reilly's song. Loved the homage to Helen Mirren, and she seemed to get a kick out of it. How they managed to be so cool and collected in front of a BILLION viewers is beyond me. Funny lyrics and flawless. Good to see Marc Shaiman at the piano.

Other favorite bit - Al Gore's attempt to be funny. I thought he was about as funny as Al Gore can get.

Was rooting for most of the winners, and was so psyched that Alan Arkin won. He seemed genuinely shocked and humbled. Loved how awkward Abigail Breslin was through the entire night. Happy for Jennifer Hudson, but am now officially OVER IT.

Diane Keaton is my hero. Is she the most gorgeous woman ever?

Dresses: Reese Witherspoon looked beyond stunning to me. Divorce agrees with her. Also loved Kate Winslet's dress. Jodie Foster looked great, too. Kate Blanchett. Hubba hubba.

Men: Leonardo is growing on me - he is getting more handsome as he ages. Forest W.'s speech was sweet and a little out there, as I think he is. Steve Carrell is so darn cute. Greg Kinnear: take me. Haven't you gotten my calls?

Actresses who should not be shot in High Def after recently getting Botox and collagen- Nicole Kidman. I could bounce a quarter off of her face.

Beautiful but looked pregnant in her dress: Jennifer Lopez.

It was long, but it's once a year, for Pete's sake.

Less than a month before I return to work, and a more normal schedule. As much as I hate to admit it, I am more productive when I am so over scheduled that I can't see straight. How this will play out with a three month old baby, I have no idea, and no choice. I'm worried about how the breastfeeding and pumping will go - everything I've read talks about the possibility of having your baby brought to you at work to breastfeed(now THAT would be interesting in a classroom full of 14 year olds), pumping on the same schedule you would be feeding, or trying to work from home. Sounds great, but completely impractical on a teacher's schedule, which inevitably dictates even your bowel's schedule. (Don't believe me? Ask a teacher. Your body becomes very quickly accustomed to those 3 minutes between classes and your 20 minute lunch period.)

So on top of this impending schedule shift, whereby I will be looking out at a sea of fresh faced 14-15 year olds instead of focusing on my beautiful baby's face held at arms' length, I've decided to try Tracey Mallett's new program. As part of the test group, I will follow her "healthy eating plan" - a possible throwback to Richard Simmons' "Deal a Meal" - and her workout schedule and dvd. I am to keep track of my results, feelings, and opinions, and then let her know. She may or may not be able to use some of my comments in her fitness book when all is said and done.

My first workout was last night, and although my initial reaction to the workout was skepticism -like pilates with weights - this morning I am SORE. So it must be working!! More as it happens...